This last year things have changed so much, hopefully for the better! I've met some amazing people and found friends that I actually have so much in common with. I love my old friends don't get me wrong but a lot of them have completely different ideas/morals/interests than me and I guess it's nice to have that change!
Right now and for a long time i've had this huge energy, like this feeling that I have to focus on. I have always loved music and it's only really been this last couple of years that i've felt so strongly about becoming involved in the industry. Yeah it would be great to be an artist but i've always felt my passion lies in finding 'the next big thing'; artists who truly have something to say and deserve to be heard. I want to make sure these people are heard and I will work my butt off to make sure this happens! I've been given some incredible opportunities this year and instead of letting the fear make me turn them down, i'm welcoming them with open arms.
This is all so different to a few years back and I wish i'd known all of this back then, I wish i'd had this hope but I have it now and I am not willing to let it go! Thats another great thing about some of the people i've met this year, not only are they incredibly talented (but unfortunately don't believe in themselves) but they are so passionate about music, and their love and drive only further fuels mine, it's just beautiful i can't explain how great it feels!
I am going to try my hardest to get where I want to be, and to ensure my friends get to where they want to be. I have had too much shit in my life holding me back, I never thought i'd even make it to a day like today but I am here and i'm still fighting and fucking hell for once I am determined! This is a vow to keep going, to never stop until I have achieved what i want to achieve and I have never wanted this so much! I'm still learning and I will always be learning and at the same time I am still recovering and always will be but now i feel different, now i feel something so much more powerful driving me than ever before and I will not back down. I will do this but I will not do it alone, this time i have my family and my true friends stood right with me and that is the most amazing feeling in the entire world.
I have no doubt it my mind that it's not going to be an easy ride but I am willing to take the challenge. So please if you are reading my strange ramblings can I ask you to pray, spare a thought or tell me to my face something that will inspire me, anything that you think can keep me strong through rough times. I never want to go back to where I was, it was the darkest place I have ever been and i don't think i could survive it again. I will be and am enternally grateful to everyone who has supported me through everything, and I hope i can support others through their tough times and even their good times!